Oh Life.

I figured it was time for an official update of my life since the last time was a long time ago and much has happened since. I know a lot of this info has already been put out there on the facebook world, but for my own record of thoughts, or for those that missed it the blidingly fast newsfeed, here you go. :)

We moved back to the Gainesville area in June. We are currently renting a house and it is just so dang nice living with my husband again. We cannot even begin to explain how thankful we are that Luke's family was willing to take 5 of us in(for the most part, and 6 on the weekends!) and help us out during a difficult season in our lives. It was not easy, but I am very thankful for how everything worked out and I really enjoyed getting to see the kids have a close relationship with their grandparents, and my sister in laws/brother in law. I also loved being close to my Mom and Dad and getting to see them more often. We are also thankful because our friends Andy and Cassi let Luke live with them for 4 nights out of the week. It seriously would not have worked had it not been for them. We will not be able to pay them back for that, and we will forever be thankful.

We went to the beach in July with Luke's family. Its kind of a tradition of going to our favorite spot on Dog Island. We love the privacy and the time there. Only downside was, I threw my knee out the week before and it made standing/walking/swimming/going up and down stairs very interesting for the trip. But we had fun none the less.

We sold our house in Stone Mountain via the Short Sale process at the end of July. I cannot even begin to tell you how happy we are about that. We lived there for almost 3 years and it would a rough season in our lives at Luke lost his job not long after we bought it. We rented it out for a while after we moved, but it was all a bust and ended up losing tons of money on it in the end. We sold the house for what we owed on it, so thankfully we didn't owe anything to the bank, but we did not see the 30,000 we put down on it, and the short sale will effect our credit for a few years. But we are just thankful that we can put this all behind us and focus on creating a more secure financial future for our family.

Kids started school in Aug, and it has been a great start to the year so far. I am mildly adjusting to getting up early to get them off, but they ride the bus there and it doesn't come till about 8, so its not too bad. They are doing well...Kate has had the hardest time adjusting, but this month has shown some improvements, so we are happy about that. I am enjoying being able to run errands with only one kid, getting things done during the day and having a bit more free time. Micah is loving the extra attention, but can tell he gets bored with me..he's used to having way more excitement happening at all times! :)

I was in a little car accident about 2ish weeks ago. A young girl did not stop in time as we sat at a stop light and she hit us from behind, pushing us into the car in front of us(not sure how fast she was going, but it felt fast!). It managed to cause most damage to my van and the insurance company ended up totaling it out as the repairs cost more then our van was worth. Which was sad, cause while it had a ton of miles, one sliding door didn't want to work, and the dvd/cd/radio went out, she was mechanically sound..and I knew I didn't have to worry about getting somewhere. It took a while to find a suitable replacement, and also trying to getting enough money back from the insurance company to pay for one, but we finally ended up buying another Odyssey that was a couple years younger then ours, and with a little less miles..We are hopeful we will get many more miles out of her and get to enjoy it for a while. Did you know you have to pay taxes on privately bought cars now? We didn't know till the day we bought it, and had to pay a hefty sum on it. We appealed the value of our car so that we could get some of the money we spent back, but it will take a couple weeks. Oh don't worry Tag Office. My kids love rice and beans for every dinner. ;)

My knee is mostly better. Still have some pain when I do certain things, and the leg is a little weak from lack of use, but I am ready to get back at working out. Even my hubby has said that he is excited for me to get back at it, because he knows how much it meant to me, and not just physically. Mentally it was so good for me...after we deal with the financial backlash of the car taxes, I will be back at it!

So thats about it right now! :)

My hurt, Your hurt

Isn't it interesting that our best intentions to encourage someone are often times a dismissal of someone's feelings? How many times have people said or complained or poured out their heart and we the listeners try and say "well, at least it isn't like this guy", or "can you imagine how much worse it could be if you were so and so.."..

Feelings and emotions don't need comparing. They need to be heard. When someone says they are having a hard time mothering, we should not say "well at least you aren't a single mother doing it by yourself". This does not undermine the sweet single mama having to make a go of it. Her job is hard too! But we should not put down one Mom's frustrations for another Mom's.

Listen to that Mama, friend, family member, spouse...validate their feelings, even if you don't understand why. Give them a hug, tell them you are there, treat them to a lunch out or a coffee, or babysit their kids for a break. Meet one another where we are instead of downsizing one person's feelings and experiences.

It is a beautiful thing to allow yourself to be a pair of listening and understanding ears.

Cross fit awkwardness.

Ok. So, you know like 4 months ago, I was down 20 lbs with 30 to go. Awesome success in my opinion. Well, 4 months of stress filled days due to our living situation and life circumstances and my lack of desire to work out made me put it all back on. Its my fault....I accept complete responsibility. But it still sucks. I'm sad, humiliated, frustrated and honestly afraid to try again. I know I can do it, since I have, but I hate having to do it all over again.

I've been toying with the idea of joining a crossfit gym for months. I am tired of just running and workout DVD's just aren't my thing(though I'm trying with some P90X.).. But isn't it sad that the only things holding me back are superficial? I'm afraid of being judged(no one wants to be the over weight person in a room of fit and muscular folk, I mean lets face it..our bodies just don't look the same while working out). I'm afraid of the social dynamic. I've become quite introverted lately and I've always had some social anxiety that I can normally deal with, but this setting where you become real and vulnerable in front of people makes it a little harder to process. I'm afraid of failing. What if I can't do even 1 push up or pull up, or what if I'm too big of a wimp and puke or cry while working out? I don't want to fail.

So, yeah. Thats where I'm at...frustrated, feeling stuck and not really sure how to move forward.