Soon, soon..

I know I haven't updated in a while, I'm sorry. I will try and update this weekend when I have a few more minutes of time to myself so I can actually think to type. :)

Noah's birthday is this weekend so I'm hoping to get pictures up too. I'm also busily preparing for his little party we are having. Not sure if we'll get to have it at the park we wanted to or not because it may rain, but we'll see.

Lola has also been spayed this week, but not before she decided to go into heat..so we are having to deal with all of the things that go along with a dog in heat, and one who has been through a major abdominal surgery. She is acting like her normal self though, and I don't think it will take too long for her to return to her normal activity. Just trying to keep her calm enough where she isn't popping stitches or anything.

Last few days

The fam and I had a great weekend.. Saturday, we pretty much did nothing...it was so relaxing and was the first Sat. in a while we didn't have something planned(usually the planned things are of our choosing, but still.)..Sunday was busy, but oh so fun. We got up ate a lazy breakfast, then went to the mall. I was able to get a new shirt, 2 new maternity dresses I really need for all the special outings I have coming up, and a new pair of shoes..which ended up NOT being my friend. I tried to be different then my normal self..my friends would be proud and I got some shiny little ballet flats...by the end of the night I had sores on both my back ankles. arg...Maybe I just haven't broken them in enough..? I also managed to get Liv some summer sandles(1/2 off from Payless), and I found some little girl onsies I was wanting SOOO bad from Target, and had put off buying them thinking Luke would think I had lost it buying them when I didn't know we were having a girl or not..but by the time I went back to Target to get them, they were GONE...so I was sooo happy to find them at Kohls! Luke also got a jump drive he needed for some side jobs he's going to start doing for his old company. Apparently they fired the current engineer and really wanted Luke to do their drawings till they find someone else...At least its side income that can go into savings!! :)

(ETA: Saturday I was blessed with a SUPER generous gift from Luke..he gave me new maternity pj's that were much needed, some new purfume and lotion from B&BW's, and a shirt from Motherhood Maternity(unfortunately it wasn't my style, AND Luke took the tags off. so yeah..not too sure about that one)...but he scored major brownie points for trying....its hard for men to buy clothes!

Then Erin and Wesley came over and watched our kids so we could go out for our Valentines dinner..we've learned that its almost better to go the day before or after just because there is less crowds and waiting. We chose the Melting Pot this year..we haven't been there in over 2 years...so it was quite the treat. Luke suprised me with roses at dinner, and I thoroughly enjoyed EVERY SINGLE COURSE they brought me...my fave there is the steak...soo yummy..the valet guy even had our car running and warm when we left...so awesome.

I'm 25 weeks today! I'm so excited..it makes me feel like I'm just edging closer to be done. I am a lot more content to be pregnant this go around then I normally am at this point..I know I still have a ways to go, but even despite the issues I've had, I'm thankful that they aren't worse and baby is growing healthy and normal. I am soo looking forward to seeing who this baby is. I was trying to explain the feeling of just having had a baby to a friend and it left me soo almost speechless(which is hard for me! :) )....It truly is such an amazing feeling and one thats worth all the work to get there...and the idea of holding my little tiny bundle makes me so excited.

I've been selling a bunch of my cloth diapers and wool sets this week..things that I don't end up using as much as I thought, or don't work as well, or just don't fit anymore...I'm proud of the Paypal I've worked up and super excited to get to use the money to replenish Noah's "stash" with stuff that works for us better...Oh and Mom, be on the lookout for something coming to your house...even after I fixed the address on my account, it still accidentaly got mailed to you. Whoops...!

I'm a Job...

No..not job as in work...Job, as in biblicy(sp) speaking.

I cannot boast that God was allowing satan to test me, but I know God doesn't give us more then we can handle and though I have NOT gone through the exstensiveness that Job did..I have often felt a connection with him and his life. I have read it many times and I always learn something new each time. I have always been one to wear my emotions on my sleeve. Its been a down fall and a blessing at times, and through each trial the Lord has allowed me to walk through, He has always heard me vent.

My battle has always seemed to be physical. First it was when I had undiagnosed lactose intolerance(which the Lord healed me of years later), dental issues since I've had teeth practically(and I am NOT joking on this...) I'd be happy to never see a dentist again., and more stomach issues that made me take note of where the nearest bathroom was at every place I went to, and while my pregnancy with Olivia was as easy as easy can be(after having her wasn't, due to a breast cyst that required weekly needle aspirations), Noah's pregnancy was a faith walk. Really no problems till I hit 28 weeks. Went in for my gestation diabetes test....and as soon as I drank the liquid, I instantly felt the need to pee...and my bladder kept spasming and spasming. My midwife played it off as position of the baby and sent me home. Come to find out with my Mother's urine strips at home that there was blood in my urine. We assumed UTI and called in the prescription. While we were waiting for that to be filled, my back started hurting. Not an unusual thing while pregnant, but this felt different. By the time I made it home, I was NOT feeling well.....about 30 minutes later, after calling our super friend, Dr. Fred, he said "take her to the hospital..". Come to find out I had 2 kidney stones..one of which was almost out. They admitted me, gave me pain meds(after a long time!) and also pumped me full of fluids they said it'd pass in a day. I stayed for almost a week waiting for that kidney stone to pass..and finally they said there wasn't much more they could do and sent me home with meds to control pain....mean while. Come 34 weeks, I was contracting often and more often then they like, so again I was admitted and steroids were given as we were given the "what having a baby this early means" talk. That was a hard few days to walk out...because part of you just wants to tell your body "no, don't have it" and also trust God that maybe His plan is different. We turned down any other forms of labor stoppers and they sent us home...we prepared ourselves for a possible early baby and went about life. Noah didn't come till almost 40 weeks. Those 6 weeks that I was in limbo waiting for him to come for amazingly faith building. I often complained of why the Lord would allow me to go through so much pain, and Luke has always said "Because He knows your strong enough to handle it". It also pushed me to my knees quite literally many times a day in belief that He was in control...and I know God allowed me that time to draw nearer to Him. He wasn't making me go through it for nothing...(I passed that stone while in labor with Noah. Completely painless and they never could find the other one on ultrasound/x-ray several weeks later).

As of today..I'm edging up on 25 weeks pregnant..and I have a hard time looking at the rest of my pregnancy as something positive, and yet, I know how driven I will be to put my face in the Hands of God and surrender to His strength and grace. My body is already physically feeling the effects. My cervix is wanting to dialate, my pelvis feels like its about to break in two, and not many positions make it anymore comfortable, but I am rarely contracting and for THAT, I am thankful for. Its humbling to know you aren't in control...and if anyone knows me, I like control...and have a very hard time being out of it...so this is a life test for me for sure...but I'm believing for God to be in the rest of my pregnancy and that HE can make it good for me, despite my current situation.

Job, I may not have lost all that you did, but I sure know how good it feels to call out to the One who you know can make it better, even if He so choses not to..I know the hurt one can feel and the sense of abandonment that can overwhelm...but oh how we were wrong. God never left us....He was simply boasting on us, and in the end you were rewarded....I'm clinging to that.

Sorry this was a marathon post..but I feel blogging is like therapy...and I needed that out.

Rare moments..

Livvy has become super affectionate recently..like the random kind that makes a Mother's heart melt...Last night she came up to me and said "I've got a present for you" and wrapped her arms around me and gave me a big hug...to which she said "I've got another one"..and gave me a kiss. Not to mention, this morning...she comes up to me and says "I really love you"...Its moments like this that make my heart twist and melt and reminds me that all the other moments that aren't as great, are beyond worth it.

Its been a lot warmer recently and we've really really been enjoying it. Saturday we all headed out and picked up lunch and went on a picnic with Erin and Wesley. We all soaked up the rays until I could no longer put off going to the bathroom..haha..(why would anyone have a park without bathrooms?!)..Luke and Wesley must have tired the kids out good playing frisbee golf cause once they got home, both were out pretty quick. We watched The Secret Life Of Bees, and Swing Vote this weekend..both were good, even though Swing Vote ended badly in my opinion. Saturday night we went grocery shopping and I amazed myself this week on the deals I was able to get and how cheaply we made out this week for food...Sunday we just lounged around and played outside a good portion of the day. We finally got our video camera up and running again, so we've been able to take video of the kids..and its so nice to know we'll have those on DVD to watch whenever.

Still got this stinky cold thing...none of us are bad, just lingering symptoms like the dreaded "smoker cough" that leaves you feeling like you've been a smoker all your life and runny noses that never seem to go away. I'm believing for speedy healing...I don't want to deal with this much longer. There isn't much a preggo lady can take unfortunately.

24 weeks today. Doesn't seem like a good milestone week, but every week is a blessing. I'm trying to learn to roll with the aches and pains of pregnancy and actually try and enjoy this one much more then my last two. Baby is really a mover, and you can already see movement on the outside of my belly if your watching closely. Its fun to see and baby movement is what makes pregnancy oh so worth it. Its a very weird sensation for those of you who may not know the feeling, but its soo awesome to know little limbs are what's causing the movement. I'm feeling huge though and even though I've only put on a few lbs, I'm having a really hard time letting go and allowing my body to gain what it needs to. I have never been one to be overly concerned with weight..and never had issues before with it till after I had Noah and weaned him. However, watching the scale get up to a number I've never seen before in my life is not an easy task to let go of. I'm so thankful to have a husband who absolutley adores a pregnant body and doesn't mind telling me how unfat I am, and really as long as he doesn't think I'm a blimp, I'm ok...but still...

Anyways...Off to make lunch for the kids and give them their hour of t.v. today...

Unproductive coughing...

Don't you hate when you cough and you don't ever feel like its doing anything? We managed to stay well all winter till about 4 days ago when Luke brought some sort of cold thing home with him from work. So we've all been snotty, minor sore throat, coughy bunch the last few days...my sinuses finally feel better, but now I feel wheezy and coughy and get into coughing spells which really hurt. ugh. I'll be glad when this is over...

23 weeks 1 day today..put on 3 lbs....not too bad for this stage in the game. Probably came from all the junk food binging I've been on recently. Not good...considering the High Fructose Corn Syrup issues and that mercury has been found in it....lovely. Had a midwife appointment today and it well considering how yucky we've all felt. My poor midwife has to sanitize all her toys now...measuring great on fundus for those of you who know what that means....and my baby is head down! :) Hoorah...! Now..baby just needs to stay that way. Did I mention, Livvy has now changed her opinion to wanting a sister and convinced thats what it is now? She for over 20 weeks said it was a boy..and I'm wondering if our visit to the Seibals and seeing a little baby sister changed her mind..haha..She's also calling the baby Winnie the Pooh since we won't tell her our name ideas.

Speaking of children...today was NOT a good children day. Sick kids never help my mood, but there is something about the kids that before lunch, they are just EXTREME mess makers..and I don't mean their toys..I mean like spilling things, dropping food..etc....I don't know how they can make so much mess when confined to only a few spaces. Today Olivia was supposed to be OUT of the kitchen and she wasn't and then loudly said "the trashcan fell over"...well normally we don't throw lots of real food in there because we use our disposal a lot, but I had thrown in some moldly strawberries last night and some leftover speghetti....and if anyone knows our dog, you know she has serious digestive issues when she consumes human food....so the rush is on whenever food is dropped to clean it up...well my preggo bodied self can only jump out of a chair so fast...all while telling Livvy to set the trashcan UPright and start cleaning it up while I came. Low and behold, she's just standing there when I walk in and watching the dog start to nibble on food!....and I mean all the stuff I threw away last night was on the kitchen floor....I still don't know why I let this kind of stuff get to me, but it made every ounce of patiance I have fly out the window this morning..and the only thing my brain could gather was to yell....let me tell you, it did NOT help the situation and probably stressed me out more by yelling then if I had just cleaned it up calmly...after a yelling fit, and a spanking which I'm not sure whether it was more for her, or me, I ended up apologizing for my nasty behaviour and that to be more careful next time. It was not a good day for me......and days like this make me see the real me so much more. I'm humbled...Lord help me!