Trying..

Lately it seems like I've been sucking at keeping up with the blog. Sorry..I actually really enjoy recording the day's events, but finding the time to do it is what's complicated.

Filed our taxes on Friday night..getting a fairly nice refund which will allow us to pay off our midwife and put a lot into savings. Now, if they'd just hurry and deposit it..:)

Our life hasn't had a whole ton going on recently, so there isn't tons to report. Last Saturday, we walked the mile track around our local park..we really love it and it was just cold and wet enough that no one was there and left us to walking it alone. We took pics, but I'm having a hard time getting my printer to read my memory card from the camera anymore and we have yet to replace the upload cable to the camera since it was chewed up by the detructive Rottweiler pup we had in June of 08. After the walk, we took Luke's car to the oil place. We are so much better at keeping my van in great condition, but his always seems to take a back seat and he REALLY needed to get it changed...turns out, we had to have the engine flushed while we were at it due to sludge..great. Ate Arby's while we waited, then headed to Target to get some jeans for me...they didn't have my size...darnet, but we did get bacon and tomatoes for part of lunch on Sunday and I splurged on a Chai Tea Latte at Starbucks..I headed home to get the kids a quick nap, and then I made dinner for some of our only friends up here who just had a baby...they ended up wanting us to just eat it with them, so that was nice to get to hang out at their house for a little bit and enjoy some good company...not to mention, who doesn't like holding a new baby?!

Sunday, Joel and Carol had a house showing, and so they headed our way to hang..we haven't hung out with them in a long time! Just goes to show you, you can live fairly close to someone and never see them..or at least, not often. They came, ate lunch and hung with us for a while before heading back home. Luke and I played cards and relaxed the evening away..it was a good weekend.

This week has been boring so far...nothing cool happening. Today, its windy...very windy and stormy feeling...I usually love days like this, but it sounds icky today, which always makes me nervous...not sure why.

Have an appointment with our midwife on Saturday...we are praying Luke doesn't have to work this weekend so he can make it without it having to be rescheduled. I always look forward to going and seeing her and thats how its supposed to be.

Anyways...thats it for right now..

I desire..

-To learn to become a better friend and not be afraid of being intimate and real with them.

-To embrace the awkward feeling I always get when meeting new people, because I'll never get to know anyone if I don't.

-To not lose touch with those friends whom we've moved away from.

-To actually put time aside in my day in which God gets to be the center, and not all the things that take it away from Him.

- To become less of a yelling mom. I justify it when they are far away, but I'm teaching them to only respond to me when I yell, and I don't want my kids to ever think of me as "their yelling mother"..

-To become more of a servant and "well spring" to my husband, not because I have to, but because I want to.

-To embrace the calling of a Proverbs 31 woman.

-To find fellowship with a relational/life/God centered group of people in a non-institutional situation.

-To one day actually fulfill the desire of my heart in being involved in helping woman give birth, no matter the capacity that God sees fit.

-To honor God in every birth of my children I have. May the One who ordained such a wonderful process be glorified in every moment. (Even the one where I wonder what I've done to myself again..haha..).

11 days!

Since my last post already? Wow..time really does fly. Not tons has happened since my last post, so I feel like this will be boring...but then again, most of my posts are kind of that way anyways. :)

We had our 20 week ultrasound last week. Baby looked great and the tech was very nice and sensitive to our not wanting to know what the baby was. It was one of the longest ones I've had because it was a level 2 as they were looking mostly for signs of CF which I hear it hard to spot on an ultrasound, but whatever. Got lots of cute pics even though none were super good quality. Strange..you'd think with the machine so much more sensitive it would have been clearer. While it was really hard to not ask what the gender was, specially since she looked and knew what it was, I'm soo happy I stuck to my guns. Now, that I'm not going back to my OB/GYN, and the fact that I don't want to shell out cash for one of those 3D ones, I don't have an option of finding out, so I'm good to go now. :) I'm 21 weeks today..which makes me happy. Depending on when baby comes, I could be OVER half way done with this pregnancy, and yet, I'm really just trying to enjoy this one. I don't take for granted being pregnant and realized for many that being pregnant would be a dream come true, and I have felt so much more thankful for the time God gives us mothers to grow our babies and to nurture them while they are inside us. While I'm dying to see and hold my baby, I am at peace waiting for this little one to come. "However, Lord, please don't take this literally and make me be pregnant for like 42 weeks or something"..:)

Speaking of Baby...Luke was finally able to go in and get tested for him being a CF carrier..we needed to know since I am. Praise the Lord, his results came back negative! He's not a carrier and it made this pregnancy a little less worry filled. haha...While all my children have a possibility of being a carrier, I'd rather pass that, then the actual disease. Knowing more about it now, I'm curious as to which one of my parents have given this carrierness to me. ;)


Luke's parents came up this weekend, we enjoy having them visit. They stayed for 2 nights and we just enjoyed hanging with them and then took them to see the Farmer's market here...they loved it, and I found yet another thing I love there...their cranberry muffins...super yummy!

Luke's got 8 hour days this week..yippy! Makes the week so much more managable.

One of my friends had her baby this weekend. After a long and drawn out labor, baby was born via C-section and baby is in the NICU right now healing from a few issues. Pray for healing for the baby and for my friend as she has to recover from a major surgery and not being able to see and hold her baby much yet.

No, money doesn't grow on trees, your so right Mom.

When I was a kid, I would ask for something and my mom would say "we don't have any money right now"..what parents hasn't said that?! And I'd say "well just write a check"..as if that was money and you could just order more when you ran out. Oh..if only I knew. Luke and I have had to cough up so much money recently for random stuff that I'm getting frustrated. God has NEVER failed us when it came to providing, but He's taught us that He likes to wait till the last minute when you are simply walking in faith for things to be paid. God is so good, and I am thankful every day that there is a roof over our head, and food on our table, and we are all wearing clothes...so what else do I need to worry about?

I am finally feeling better and I'm glad my body has resumed a more normal feeling now. Emotionally and spiritually I'm feeling puny though. I personally have felt the "desert" for a while now...however recently I've had a new wave of desire to want to whole heartedly seek Him, and am trying to go with it. I know that He promised if I sought Him, I'd find Him...so thats what I'm clinging to.

Liv's birthday was this past week(the 6th) and she's so happy to say she's finally 4, and is already moving on to asking when she'll turn 5. "Please slow down sweetie!"...When you have a toddler you feel like your still a young parent, and while I know we haven't parented older children and teens, there is something about having a 4 year old that makes me feel like I've been a parent forever. I honestly can barely remember what it was like before her..haha..She's been such an amazing joy and such a challange and I think thats what makes it all the sweeter to see her grow up. Luke and I still have much to learn on how to parent her, but I know God will help, and I can already see the strong, amazing, God filled woman she'll be. We had Erin and Wesley over to celebrate and got her pizza, and an actual birthday cake which she wanted. Her big thing though was at 4, she was allowed to have gum for the first time(within reason of course). We scared the crap out of her about swallowing it, so it has taken her a few days to get beyond chewing a piece for more then 30 seconds and wanting to spit it out..but she's coming around. She went from my 8 lbs. chubbo to my big girl...

I'm 19 weeks 3 days today. Still no weight gain, thank the Lord, however I can tell my body is about to kick it up a notch in trying to gain weight, because I went from craving apples and other healthy foods, to wanting potato chips and fruit leather...Baby has finally started moving enough where its feelable most of the time. My placenta is on the front wall of my uterus, so it kept me from feeling much till Baby was big enough to get around it...most of my movement is on the sides of my stomach...Luke was tested yesterday for him being a CF carrier..please be praying his comes back negative so we have nothing to worry about..I have an ultrasound on the 13th, and hopefully after that I won't have to go into the OB practice again. I'm really not liking them..

Watched "The Business of Being Born" again the other day..and even though I already wanted the homebirth, it reminded me all over again why I'm avoiding the hospital at all costs this time. Ugh...freakin' USA. If you haven't seen it...you need to. I think any woman of child bearing age should see it.

Anyways..thats my post for today. :)