I feel like I'm losing it.

When staying at other people's house the art of keeping your children entertained becomes a chore to me. When at your own home, your kids *typically* know what to play with and what not too, but that is not really so when staying else where. My children feel like super destructive being right now. The house has been sharpied, sprayed with random sprays and reorganized...and I feel like I'm about to go insane! The kids have toys and have ample channels to choose from..but no. They want to mess with stuff...and Liv is doing this "look what Noah did" thing, but in all actuality she's helping him...its frustrating.

Yesterday we went to Valdosta again and hung out with all of Luke's brothers and their families(and his parents). We had fun and there are always lots of laughs and story telling. Then came home and played Bible Trivia with Dad...Luke won..and I only got 2 questions right..apparently I need to be reading the bible more! haha...Dad was only one question away from beating Luke...it was funny. BTW, Mom..where is that new board you have? We played with the torn one.

Going to try and go swimming tomorrow, but it may rain, so we'll see.

Alrighty, well I'm off to get the kids ready for bed so I can watch "The Secret Life of the American Teenager" in peace...don't hate me for watching this show. I watched the last two seasons online when I was bored and now I'm hooked...

I nursed in public!!

Ok, so it was in a dark theater and I did have a blanket over me, but still! It was the first time I haven't gone to the bathroom or the car..and I'm just proud. Its a start and hopefully seeing that this is my third I'll gain more confidence and be able to do it more and hopefully not just in a dark theater.

We went and saw Transformers 2 in Tally last night and it was great! Not sure why no one likes it..Kate only nursed once and then slept the rest of the time...so it was a nice evening out. :)


We've been in T'ville for a week and a half. I'm really loving seeing family, but I'm partially starting to get homesick. I want my bed back...haha..But I don't know when the next time we'll be down will be, so I'm trying to really soak it all in and enjoy the time here. I also miss my diaper sprayer..haha..I find it so gross to leave Noah poo on a diaper. Makes the washing machine have to work so much harder to get them clean.

Today was a long day..

I thought it was going to start well, but Noah decided to throw his paci out of the pack-n-play he's been sleeping in while here and wouldn't lay off the "Mommy...." that he kept saying cause he wanted me to retrieve it for him. (This was after I had put him BACK in the PNP due to his sister letting him out and them playing in the bedroom by themselves..never a good thing). So instead of waking up Kate every time I got out of bed, I gave up and got up...then Noah wouldn't eat the cereal I gave him and proceeded to throw and hour long tantrum. NO JOKE...I ended up putting him in the living room in my parents house that has a door and letting him cry(this was of course, after I had disciplined him).

At least he stopped and we went about our day. Kate was pretty good all morning, not too fussy and Liv didn't break anything. :) Lunch went well, Luke, Kate and I went and picked up Arby's for lunch, and enjoyed it...then Kate decided she was sleepy when the big kids were! Score..so I did what I needed to and then slipped into my room to lay down..I got an hour and 15 minute nap...just enough to feel better. Luke called and wanted me to bring the kids swimming at his parents, so I wrangled the bunch up, put on bathing suits and nursed the wee one. They swam for a while, then we went to Wal-mart to get some groceries for the week...Came home, ate pizza, and put the kids to bed...now I'm pooped and should be going to bed, but I don't want to. Luke is going back to ATL tomorrow to check in on the cat, get mail, water plants, get a few things we forgot...and he isn't coming back till Thursday..and I'm nervous about losing my right hand man overnight..have I mentioned how much he does for me and how LOST I am without him..?! Not to mention...I'm still a hormonal mess and it makes for a needy me..and I don't like being alone....so sleeping by myself is depressing to me. I may have to move Kate from the PNP and put her in bed with me just so I won't be alone. (How sad am I??)

Hoping to go get to see Transformers this week!! Hooray!

60th!

Its my 60th post...just for the record.

Its also Father's day!! I'm soo thankful to have such wonderful father's in my life.

My dad is great, he's a great example of a hard worker who isn't afraid to do what's needed to care for his family. He's super loving and dotes on his kids and grandkids, and is beyond giving of his time, energy and money.

Luke's dad is also great..he loves having deep conversations and has taken care of many issues for us, he raised an amazing son and I can't help but be thankful for being such a great example for Luke.

Then there is Luke...he's my rock(next to God)..he seriously does soo much for our family I don't know what I would do without him. Luke isn't afraid to be a 50/50 parents. He deals with both the older kids every morning so I'm not bothered, he stays up late with me even though when he has work he has to be up super early, he gets up and hands Kate to me, burps her and changes her diapers every night so I can be as restful as I can while up nursing her. He also isn't afraid to do dishes, help me fold laundry or take the kids out for the afternoon just so I can get a nap, and puts the kids to bed every night all by himself. I'm so glad Noah will have such a great example of what a man is, and such a great example for Olivia and Kate of what to look for in a man. He prays for the kids, reads them the bible and has a much more consistant disciplinarian way about him. I honestly can't dote enough on him... He has delivered two of his kids himself and that's a hardcore father who can accept that challenge. He has defended our choice of homebirth, cloth diapering, breastfeeding and all things natural even in the midst of criticism amongst other men. It seems like I can't possibly love him more...I'm so thankful God chose Luke to be my children's father. They are so blessed to have him. Love you honey..your the best!

Headed over to Valdosta today to see the grands. Hopefully some pictures will follow. :)

For Mom..a run down of our day..so you could be there..sorta. :)

Today we all slept in..which was soo nice. Kate slept like a log last night and even though it has left this poor mama engorged most of the day, it was well worth it. :)

We all got ready and went to the Fletcher's pool and enjoyed a couple hours there. I only got two pictures, but hey..its better then nothing! The water was soo warm and felt so good in this dang heat. Atlanta hasn't been this hot yet and we apparently have become pansies. :) Then we treated Pop's to some Sonny's for lunch, before crashing for afternoon naps. Something about swimming makes a person tired.

Went to Wal-mart tonight to get Father's day cards and presents..Dad will like his..I'll post later on what he got. He went to Steve's group tonight..so we are PopPop less at the moment. But I'm glad he's getting a break from having to help babysit all the time. I'm sure he says he doesn't mind..but its always nice to get a break. :)

Love you..hope you had a great night going out!

I'm not as difficult as I let on..

So the pediatrician we originally saw to have Kate's PKU testing done is so not ok with me. The whole homebirth thing THREW her for a loop and she treated us like unknowledgable parents who were being difficult about stuff. No, we didn't do eye drops, no we didn't do Vit. K shot, no we DON'T want to start vaccinating my baby yet and yes we would have denied all this crap if we had given birth in the hospital..! Its a good thing I didn't tell her we co-sleep and let our babies sleep on their tummies. I probably would have gotten the third degree and the CPS called on me..arg. So we left them to find someone else...and we did thankfully. Some friends go to him and love him...he's an hour away from us, but I guess since we don't go unless sick, its not that big of a deal.

I really love co-sleeping. It works for us..I know its not for everyone, but I love hearing my baby breath at night, and snuggling up next to her as I nurse her back to sleep. I love that she sleeps soo much better this way and that I know transitioning her to a crib later will be easier(or at least it has been for my first two). I love that Luke loves having her there too, if he wasn't supportive it would be a lot harder to make the decision to have her there.

So I'm down here in T'ville. Its nice being in very familiar territory, but this is one of the first times I haven't felt like I was coming home. Thomasville will always be part of my home, I mean its where I grew up my entire life, but I know that my home is with my hubby, no matter where that is and its a nice feeling, because I know that I'm maturing enough to let go of what was...and embrace what is.
I'm loving seeing people I know! No matter where you go it seems like you see someone..haha..Tonight we are eating with Luke's parents. Its nice to be taken care of. My brother and sister in law are coming down next week for a bit, and I cannot wait to get to see them. I'm glad our time here will coincide with theirs..we don't get to see them much. And Alison, if your reading this...no pressure, but it sure would be nice for you to go just a wee bit early and have Logan so I can meet him while your here...haha..but no pressure. :)

Its also weird being here while Mom's not. She's in TX getting her the birth she needs to get certified and its strange walking around the house with her not here. Know that we miss you Mom just as much as you miss us. The house feels empty and weird without you, and I find it feels so weird taking on the wifey roll. We wish you were here but we're proud your accomplishing what you need to do.

First day..

Of having the kids all by myself. Luke has run errands before, but nothing over an hour or so...So far, so good. Hopefully it stays that way.

God's providing. Luke's parents are wanting their garage re-done and they want my Dad and Luke to do it for them. So most likely, we'll all be headed down in a week or so to do that. It will be nice to be in T'ville for longer then a weekend. Makes it a lot easier to fit in time with people that way. Dad also has another possible project that would require help from another guy and so Luke will most likely be helping him there too...

Tomorrow is Luke and I's 6th anniversary. Its soo hard to believe we've been married this long, but I'm so happy. I know tons of people are married longer then this, but in this day and age, 6 years is nothing petty. :) We will be going out to dinner tomorrow evening and just enjoying it. Its Sat. and I still don't have a card or any kind of gift for him...guess I'll be making an outing today. :)

Kate's doing well, and the kids are adjusting. They are both learning to be gentle and Kate's learning how to just roll with the punches(not literally!..haha). Yesterday I vacuumed and she slept through the whole thing...something neither of my first two did. I guess all that vacuuming in my pregnancy got her used to the noise..now if the quiet talking that Luke and I do when we go to bed wouldn't bother her so much..haha.

Kate's birth story..

Thursday morning I woke up like any other preggo day and set about my routine of getting the kids breakfast and doing cleaning. Got into a good rythem and ended up vaccuming, sweeping, mopping, cleaning out a crate that the dog had decided to take a huge load in(uck!), and still felt pretty good physically. However, I was still upset about not having her yet even though I wasn't officially due yet...Made a few rants about her not being here, felt better afterwards. Made lunch, and decided I wanted naptime to be a little bit earlier today..I was feeling the cleaning I had done by now..so I had Liv lay down with me and put Noah in his bed. We all went to sleep pretty quickly thankfully. At approx. 4 I woke up with a nice contraction...umm..this one felt different..but I have had soo many false starts I wasn't about to get excited about one contraction...thought maybe I needed to potty..so went to the bathroom..didn't feel any better...laid down again cause Liv was still asleep. Another one hit...7 minutes from the first. Woke Liv up with my breathing through it..I waited and couldn't lay down through the next one. 7 minutes later. At 4:30 I called Luke cause he had been working with Joel that day..Luke said he was excited at the prospect of labor and was already on his way home.

Called my mom and told her I thought I was in labor...she decided to head this way as quickly as she could. Worked through a few more contractions and Luke made it home...He called my midwife and I requested 30 minutes before she needed to come because I wanted to be sure it was the real deal, but he quickly knew this wasn't the pansy contractions I'd been having so he told me to go get in the shower to help the pain(I love a man who knows how to help a woman in labor!). He set about calling people who needed to know..and called the midwife back to tell her to go ahead and come. He also called two friends and my sister..

Worked through lots and lots of contractions in the shower till Luke reminded me that we needed the hot water for the pool, so I got out...ugh. Not as good out of the hot water. Barely made it down stairs to the couch and more kept washing over me. Luke started filling the birth pool and we turned on the t.v. for Liv to watch some shows to distract her. (Noah was still sleeping at this point). Poor Luke was running around trying to get everything ready while trying to keep my focus during the contractions(I handle the pain MUCH better when I have someone staring right into my eyes during it.). Debi, my midwife showed up and started unloading her stuff..I decided I needed to go to the bathroom, so I got up and went..asked Debi to check me then and she said I was just about 8 cm's...yay! Progress...I was worried I was still in early labor..but here I was in transition. Pool was finally deep enough by now to actually get in, so I got in and sat down...it wasn't as hot as I like it, but it did feel oh so good. I really almost immediately started feeling pressure with each contraction but I was determined not to push yet, I really really wanted that urge to push because I never had that with my other two and it made pushing worse for me. Debi got birth stuff ready, while Luke helped me and occasionally updated his facebook status. haha..

I decided I wanted to move to a hands and knees position because I wasn't dealing with the contractions as well sitting back..Luke walked off to do something, and me and Debi worked through some contractions. (At this point, Noah had gotten up and they were watching t.v. and coming in and out of the room(we were in the kitchen)). During one contraction, I felt LOTS of pressure and went with it...and gave a really good push and felt her move down some...Debi hollered to Luke to COME, and I quickly panicked about pushing cause I didn't want to swell my cerviz by pushing before it was ready...so I just yelled, "Debi, check!"...thankfully she knew what I meant and said all I had was a tiny little lip(same thing happened with Noah...must be the way I dialate), at this point I really needed to push and she said she would just hold it up while I pushed...once she did that I felt the baby move down a lot and immediately started feeling the lovely burn of a crowning baby. Decided I wanted to push past the pain anyways...better to push and be done with it, then continue with the pain..haha..however I felt panicky, so I just stopped and I reached down and felt a slippery head and told Debi to "please break it"..(I thought my water hadn't broken yet and I wanted it to be!), but it had already broken apparently. Luke and Debi said I had her out to her ears...so I gave one good push and out her head popped, such a great feeling, but she still felt like I was having a watermelon, so again I just stopped and I just remember saying that I didn't want to push. We let her sit that way for what felt like minutes, but I know it was only a matter of seconds...it felt to me like they were pushing her head up, and I kept telling them to "stop pushing" on her..course Debi kept reminding me she wasn't even touching the baby..haha..the baby apparently was trying to rotate her shoulders some and thats what I was feeling. I was also prompted to reach down and feel her head at this point to reassure me she WAS coming out. This gave me enough incentive to push again..

I gave another good push or two and the AWESOME release of a baby leaving your body finally happened, Luke caught her and helped her to the surface and around my leg so I could sit back and take her in my arms. Luke and I both immediately looked between her legs and Luke announced- "Its a girl!!"....which I could NOT have been more happy about. I had been secretly hoping for a girl the whole time..she was so cheesy and I remember thinking, well she's not late thats for sure. There is an indescribable feeling that you get after having a baby..its a natural high that I know designed and its the BEST feeling ever...I was just so happy to be finally holding her after all the fake labor and long almost 10 months. :) She needed some suctioning and stimulation, but she was breathing and healthy and thats all I could ask for.

Sat in the tub for a while admiring my baby, all the while we realized the kids had been at tub side for the whole birth. I didn't prepare Noah at all really, so I'm so glad I didn't scare him with all my birthing noises, but neither he nor Liv looked traumatized, so we went with that. (Debi's assistant showed up right before I started pushing for detail sake). Her other apprentice showed up right after Kate was born and so did my sister..Kate waited for no one. :) Placenta finally decided to come about 7:06ish(Kate was born at 6:42pm). We hung out in the pool till the cord stopped pulsing(my first time waiting!) and then we cut it at 7:14...We passed off baby to Luke and the ladies got my upstairs(stairs after giving birth aren't ok..:) ) Got me showered, dressed and in bed. I was brought some crackers till dinner was ready and I tried nursing Kate, however she was less then interested at this point. I was examined and we found NO TEARS, praise the Lord! Better then my first two where I had at least some "skid marks".. Then Kate got her exam, she weighed 10 lbs. even, was 21 1/2 inches long, her head was 14 1/4 inch, and her chest was 14 7/8 inches. Such a big girl all around!

Around 8:49, Kate finally nursed for the first time...Kate was having some breathing issues, but these resolved themselves after about 24 hours. Just seems like she had lots of fluid that she needed to get up because she wasn't squeezed very long in the birth canal.

My mom showed up around 9:00 sometime and then we all went about relaxing and just chatting..it was so laid back and wonderful and such a GREAT birth experience.

I'm sure I missed details because when your laboring things tend to be kind of foggy, but this is the best of what I can remember. :)

Sorry..

I've been MIA recently..having a third has made things a little busier and my little sweet girl is a for sure mama's girl and doesn't want me to put her down much. She's lost some weight too, so I'm trying to get as many feedings in as I can which kind of cuts down on having much time to do other things..haha..

Working on the birth story for those interested, but like I said, its taking me longer then I thought it would. So many details I don't want to forget so I'm trying to include a lot.

Off to make dinner for the first time in a while. :)