Lots of mama's ask me what I think about child-rearing. Not that I'm a mother genius or anything, but I do some stuff differently then most mainstream so I kind of stand out like a sore thumb..thus the questions. I used to be so defensive about them. I used to think that is was crazy that people would say I was doing things wrong when at the time I felt they were so in the wrong. I've grown a lot in the last couple months concerning this. I have learned that I have made all my choices based on what I knew at the time. I've formula fed, I've vaccinated, I've allowed my baby to cry it out, I've circumcised, I've hospital birthed, I've homebirthed, I've breastfed, bed shared and held my baby for hours because it was the only way they'd sleep. I've run the gamut. I made decisions based on what I knew. I like educating myself. I like knowing that no matter how much I learn, I will never arrive, and I may look back and see some decisions that I made and shake my head at them, but I made/make the best choices for me. For my family. For my children. Knowing what I know in that moment and looking towards what I can learn to better those choices.
Let us not look down on mother's for the choices they make based on what they know. In the end the only thing I have to worry about are my own choices and decisions and that's enough to deal with! We mama's have it hard enough without someone breathing down our necks about raising our children. A friend of mine wrote an awesome post on this and it was great.
--Keli's blog--
I promise to try my best not to presume my choices are the right choices for you...If all mama's did this, we'd be way better off.
Friday, May 13, 2011
Growing in my decisions.
Posted by Fletchymama at 1:23 PM
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4 comments:
Good blog. Enjoyed reading the blog that you linked also. I hope when I blog about my decisions that you don't think I'm trying to judge either! I'm doing things differently his time around. You live, learn, adapt, etc. And each child is different. I do think some people would make sufferer choices if they were more educated on some subjects by it doesn't make them a bad mom.
I absolutely LOVED this post and the link! I totally agree, I have judged other mom's but at the end of the day it's not about what THEY do, it's about what I do. Every decision I have made has been based on what I felt was best to do for MY child and to me, that is all that matters. Until you are in that parents shoes, it is best to just keep opinions to yourself because lord knows non of us are perfect and as stated in the link you posted, as long as the goal in whatever decision made is to have a happy, healthy, child....then THAT is truly all that matters!
Your post and the on you linked to are so good and true. We as woman/mothers aren't perfect. What works for you wn't worked for me because of our personality or our children's personality. I tell new moms the best way to be a good mom is to be well informed but if the information you read or hear ever makes you feel ike a bad mom, Just stop reading the book and "dump" the information. I also loved what the other author said "We don’t co-sleep, because I need to have my own space at night in order to be a GREAT mother." It's the principle of that statement that is true, that I did this because it makes me a Great mom. If I do what I "should" and it makes me cranky and a bad mom. I will do what I need to. Thanks for posting this :)
Kayla,
I LOVE,LOVE, LOVE that post! I seriously laughed out loud and said a few Amens! I know I don't have kids,but I've been "afraid" recently for when I do have kids how many people will Judge me for the way I do things. I kind of don't care, because I've watched my sister and she has done so many "wrong" things, but the kids are perfect, smart, healthy and beautiful :) Every mom is just trying to "survive" and it's better to enjoy it than over work yourself on being perfect. Besides how many times does new research come out about how this is better than that? Things are and will always change. New research will always be found on better ways to do things. Who can keep up with it all? anyway, I love the post!
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