This past week..

Has been soo incredibly humbling..but we are just blown away by how amazing our God is. Its sad to say that I have pointed my finger in anger at the Lord more then once this week and yet He is so patiant with me. Sometimes I feel like I am like a little toddler who's throwing a tantrum to get what I want not understanding that my Parent was way more capable of knowing what I needed and wanted then I was...and yet I know the feeling all to well of thinking I needed something and not feeling like I got it..ya know? Even if the Lord provided another way..Ugh..that was kind of gibber gabber sorry! :)

Too much complaining.

As I was flipping through some old status updates on Facebook..I was realizing how often I complained. Its hard..I rationalize complaining by just saying that I'm stating the truth. While I don't want to lie or pretend that crummy stuff doesn't happen, I also don't want to dwell on them either or give the impression that I'm over at my house sitting in the pits of despair. When I look at my life I recognize that its not easy or how I want to live the rest of my life, but its far better then a ton of people's. I have much to be thankful for and I just have to stop myself and remember the things I am thankful for.

I'm so thankful that today Luke is most likely finishing up a job and then its the weekend! I plan on getting the house good and clean today and put me in better mood, trying to get Olivia's school accomplished before dinner time(and the park if there is time!)..haha..make a good dinner and enjoy a chick flick with my man tonight.

Tomorrow night our church fellowship is doing a pumpkin carving party/chili dinner..I'm really looking forward to it. I didn't go last week to our normal meeting and have missed seeing all the sweet people. So thankful for all the uninterrupted time with Luke as a family.

Sorry there hasn't been pictures recently. We still haven't gotten around to replacing our camera and our phone's just don't take very good ones...one of these days! :)

On a happier note..

Olivia was talking and walking before she was 1...Noah on the other hand was on his own time table as far as those went. He didn't walk till like 14 months, and didn't starting talking(besides a few signs) till later then that. I thought the kid would never talk. He now talks fine...but it also allowed me to not feel as stressed when Kate decided to follow suit. Though she was walking by her first birthday, her vocabulary has been slow going. She all but refuses to sign(EVERY now and then I will get one out of her)..In the last month she's taken off a lot. She rambles ALL the time..but now she can actually say-

Mama
Dadda
Doggy
Night Night
Hot(I cook a lot..it comes up!)
PopPop
Out
Down
ick
Bye-Bye
says Meow everytime the cat comes around
and occasionally she'll say Livvy or Noah, but its few and far between.

This list may not seem like much for a 16 1/2 month old's vocabulary, but she's learned most of these in the last month and I can tell she's trying very hard to copy things we say so I know its only a matter of time before she starts up with more words. I'm just so glad she's saying SOMETHING understandable now! :)

Not handling life..

I don't feel like I'm handing life very well right now. To be honest, its probably because I haven't been leaning on the Lord as much as I need to. I've taken it upon myself to worry and fret and over think everything going on in life right now instead of really and truly trusting Him. My emotions feel raw and I've thrown myself more then one pity party. I'm not proud just being an open book here. I have a really hard time having plans and then having them changed. Some plans I don't mind changing...like when friends want to hang on a night I didn't expect or something like that, but when they change for the worse its really hard for me. My daily struggle right now is focusing on TODAY. Knowing I did everything I could with a mostly positive outlook.

This cooler weather isn't helping..thought I love going outside in the evenings and letting the kids play while its nice and cool and the kids love crunching through the leaves that are falling off the trees..it also brings out this hermit crab type feel where all I want is a good book, a cup of cider(or tea) and alone time.

Not sure if I mentioned it before, but please be praying for Luke this week. He's had a possible job opening and we are REALLY hoping it works out. Thanks!

The rest of life..

Yesterday we had Erin and Wesley over(and Lucy of course!!) and we enjoyed a super late dinner(sorry guys!) and just getting to talk for a while. It never fails to make me so thankful when we spend time with them. I love it..and so thankful that we have such a good relationship. Don't take your siblings for granted people!

Tonight we plan on being lazy. Eating a frozen meal(that I heat up) and then plopping ourselves down in front of our favorite night of television. Holla! The kids and I did school this morning and we managed to finish by 1:30 which is no small task for Olivia. She has a pretty hard time focusing for that long even when the lessons are fun and involved. I decided we'd so something nice for lunch and go to Panera...I ordered and then sat waiting for 15 minutes. Not sure why I waited that long before asking about my food, but its no small task to wait till almost 2 to feed your kids and then have to keep them quiet and contained while waiting! When I asked about lunch, they'd never even gotten it on their screen on the prep side of the place..arg. But the guy whipped it up super fast and gave me extra bags of chips for waiting so long. Then we went to the Library...Olivia and I are going to embark on reading the Little House series..I very vividly remember my mother reading them to me, so I can't wait to read with her.

Tomorrow we'll have Tyler and Kelly come over. We love hanging out with them..

On a awesome note! My children were approved for health insurance...!! I mean I didn't think we'd be denied seeing as how little money we make currently, but its just SO nice to know we have it if we need it. It takes such a load off my back...:)

Where we are. Part 3.

Its getting to the place in our story that is just simply hard to tell over the Internet. Intonation is lost and interpretation can be confusing. So bear with me and again like I said last time, if you have any questions, please let me know. God has opened our eyes to how much bigger this journey is then which building we are attending to get our messages. Its also hard to say that we have gleaned so much from Frank Viola without sounding like a cult or some sort of following. Let me say that neither Luke or I think this man is flawless or that he is the end all-know all on home church's. Frank and other apostles like him are trying to imitate the New Testament model of what an apostle is supposed to be to the Church. So like apostles in the New Testament he helps start and or equip local bodies under the headship of Christ.

One of the fellas working with him regularly is a guy named Milt Rodriguez(his book-The Community Life of God )
His website-http://www.therebuilders.org/
He is currently in South Dakota working with a body of believers there and in Nov, will be headed to Gainesville, GA to help the group we've been meeting with. He'll be here for a few months to help equip us like Paul did in the New Testament then move on to another group that needs help getting established.

In the New Testament, every church without fail was either started or helped by an apostle. Frank really tries to teach the body to meet under the headship of Christ without the need for human control. I know, it goes against everything I’ve been taught, though when I look at the Bible, I can’t disagree with him. It’s a revolution to our thinking to say that we are able to come together without a pastor there to do church for us. Well, what is a pastor? What is his role in the church. And why is he almost completely missing in the New Testament writing? What would a church meeting without a pastor look like and would it even be biblical? These are questions we’ve been asking for a long time but are just now getting some answers to. Needless to say, God is challenging us in new ways every day.


There is probably may more that I could say, but honestly it would take way way too long and this is just a summary not a play by play of every feeling or experience we've had along the way. I just wanted to give a glimpse into where Luke and I are and what we've kind of gone through over these last couple years.

(BTW, all book titles are links to their books on Amazon if you are interested in obtaining any for yourselves.)

Where we are. Part 2..

Our main focus for our "group" if you want to call it that was solely relying on following after what God wanted for THAT meeting no matter what it meant..sometimes we would worship the entire time, sometimes we would listen to a message from various speakers, sometimes we would pray the whole time, sometimes it was just us sharing what God was doing in our lives and encouraging each other in the Lord..or usually a combo of the above. We have had people come and visit and be part of the get togethers but no one consistent.. We met like this for about a year doing a once a week get together with a spiritual meaning and then we'd get together maybe another night for just random hang time.

I think it was around March when Tyler brought up a author(Frank Viola) he had been reading some of his books and said he was having a conference down in Orlando in July and wanted to know if we wanted to go. We really didn't know anything about him other then what Tyler had told us and knew he was kind of a forerunner for house church type gatherings(or organic church as he refers to it). He suggested we read some of his books, although we never got around to it..haha..So the 4 of us went down to Orlando and attended the conference. It was SOOO good..and that's an understatement. It is seriously hard to sum up what we learned at the conference.

Most of what we have come to learn about this process is its totally led of the Lord, just like most Christians are in different places in their life with God. It doesn't make one more holy or less holy or a better Christian or anything, its just a different place. Luke was way more on board with giving up Institutional church way sooner then I was. I only saw a small portion of what I do now...and I'm thankful that Luke was patient with me in allowing me the freedom to come around in God's timing and not Luke's.

We realized at the conference how much bigger the plan of Christ was then just our individual walks with Christ. That's a part of it because we are each a member of the Body, but its also about corporate. I don't feel I'm very eloquent with words and I find it hard to put my thoughts on paper(or on blog!) so I'm really sorry if this is all coming out disjointed.

While at the conference we met soo many people who were looking for something like this and everyone in different stages of coming out of institutional church..Every time someone would speak we would have a time of breaking up into our table groups and discussing what we'd just heard. It was SO rich. There is something to be said of an open participatory meeting, with everyone bringing something to the table. We felt instant connections with tons of people. It was like walking into a family reunion..seriously. The conference also had all the afternoons empty of speaking time so that everyone could fellowship and talk to each other and connect with people in your area. Most specifically we met a group from Gainesville, GA and we were so excited that there was already a decent sized group of people meeting fairly close to us who were pursuing what we were!

When we came back we read one of Viola's books called Pagan Christianity. Its all about exploring the roots of the church's practices. It blew me away. I'm still not quite finished with it, but I'm getting there. Luke has the audio version and listened to it in about 2-3 days in the car(drive much?!). Luke has also listened to Reimagining Church which I think is supposed to be the follow up book.

To be continued..

(P.S. If anyone reading this has questions, feel free to ask. I'd hate for someone to be confused or think I mean something instead of asking me about it.)