100th!

This is officially my 100th post...feels good. :) I occasionally go back and look at my prior posts and its amazing how far I've come over the time I've been blogging here..My 100th post is going to be about breastfeeding..just a warning in case no one wants to be surprised by it as they read. Its also long...just warning.

Right after I had Olivia I was of the mindset that I would nurse her..my milk took forever to come in..like over 5 days..it was frustrating to hold a crying baby and feel like I wasn't feeding her enough. I'm thankful my mom was around to help and encourage..finally it came in and things were fine. I'd say like less then a week later I noticed I had a lump in my breast..called my midwife and she had a look at it...we concluded it was a clogged duct and helped me figure out how to get it out..2days later I could barely sleep cause I was running fever and in a lot of pain. She refered me to a surgeon who diagnosed me with whats called a Galactocele. A cyst that kept getting filled up with milk and had no outlet, creating a breeding ground for infection. After going in every 3-4 days to have it aspirated by needle and being on countless rounds of antibiotics(this was several weeks) they decided to put a drain in and surgically attach it to my chest. It was soo annoying. I wasn't allowed to get it wet, so I was sponge bathing and I had this for over a month. Not to mention, its hard to hide that sort of thing under a shirt...:) They finally took it out and said that outside of surgery to remove it there wasn't much more they could do because I was still trying to nurse and even though I was unable to nurse out of that side and I was trying to keep it dry, it still kept filling up. When Olivia was 3 1/2 months old I made the decision to stop breastfeeding. It was a choice made out of frustration and also relief. I was tired of trying, was tired of the pain, wanted something easier, and because of my experience I really really didn't like nursing. I was also sad, because I knew it meant letting go of ME providing nutrition and feeling like I'd failed something very important. While it was a sad choice to make, I know it was the right one. I was a much happier, healthier and better mommy after that.

When I got pregnant with Noah I immediately decided I would try my hardest again. My Dr's were telling me the cyst would come back and would most likely cause problems again. Luke and I decided right then and there we were NOT claiming that. We rebuked the words spoken and cursed the cyst and commanded life over my future nursing relationship. My milk came in the day after I gave birth and came in STRONG! I was overwhelming the poor little guy and he just couldn't keep up..which led me to pumping a lot...which for me started a vicious cycle. I loved Luke being able to feed Noah with all that extra milk, but it also made it where Noah prefered the bottle..and I was left very FULL a lot of the time even with pumping. He was a funny eater and while I was so happy to finally be breastfeeding I still didn't enjoy it very much those first couple of months while we worked out the kinks. We praised God that He was faithful and healed me allowing me to nurse on BOTH sides and not having any more cysts. I am a testimate to the fact that Dr's do not have the final say in healing. :) As the months went by I was so thankful that things got soo easy and I felt too lazy to pump and feed my child and gave up on that unless I had to go somewhere. We made it all the way to 12 months...We probably could have gone longer, but I wasn't as willing to nurse an "older" baby at the time.

My experience with breastfeeding has only got better and better. Kate is a GREAT nurser and has never given me any problems. She acted like she knew what she was doing. When she was 3 weeks old we went to stay with my Dad for 7 weeks while they worked on a project. I didn't bring my pump with me so when she was hungry there were no other choices but for me to feed her. I think it really helped our nursing relationship...she does NOT like bottles or pacifiers which is a new one for me as my other two loved both. But she's a super efficiant nurser who's almost always done in under 10 minutes total. She's plump and sweet and I relish the idea of nursing her for a while. She loves reaching up and playing with my face while she's nursing, or seeing how far she can place her foot up on my arm..and I love when she's so happy she can't even stay latched on due to smiling. Now, don't get me wrong..I know there are moments when it'd be nice to pass off a feeding or not having to worry about who I'm leaving her with cause I know there will be a bottle battle, but its all worth it.

My point is, if at first you don't succeed, try again! It IS worth it, and I don't mean any of this to put down anyone who formula feeds. Since we did it with Olivia I have a lot more mercy about it then I know a lot of breastfeeding moms. I'm just saying if it doesn't work one time, it doesn't mean it won't work again..

Alright..now you now a lot about my nursing life. :) It kind of consumes you while your doing it..haha..

Off to get dinner out of the oven!